Christmas is always a time of excitement! The brilliance of the sparkling Christmas lights lining the streets and the sound of Christmas carols playing in the background everywhere you go! I love it….and that smell…. pine and wood and winter……it really is the most special time of the year. For me, it brings back memories of when I was a little girl. Christmas Eve was so exciting, starting off at church, dressed up in my special dress and singing christmas carols as loud as I could sing! Then we would hurry home to watch a christmas movie and snuggle as a family. Of course, the anticipation of Santa, waking up early and tiptoeing down the stairs to see what he left behind, was the real excitement. Christmas will always awaken the little girl in me, wanting to bring that same excitement and joy to my family!
As an adult, we have the privilege (sigh) of arranging the festivities. Scrambling to find the time to coordinate and plan the celebrations. This inevitably brings with it anxiety and stress. And for many families, the stress of finances and being able to provide, what our society, has come to believe Christmas is, leads to feelings of sadness, inadequacy and fear of disappointing loved ones.
I have come to know that we are all at a different place in our lives. For some, finances will be the issue, for others the grief of a lost loved one or perhaps the upset over a broken relationship. All bring equal sadness and stress. All are huge and really heavy to carry over the holidays. Of course, let’s not forget the added stress of family dynamics! Let’s get real folks, all of us suffer from some sort of family disfunction and it always rears its ugly head at Christmas! It is as though it builds up all year long knowing that come December it will come on in and hang out for awhile! The father that criticizes, the brother in law that thinks he knows everything, the parents who never discipline their child….we all experience this! We do!!! And every year I know that I go into it believing I will be a completely different person this year…..listen more, talk less, no judging, just love…..yah….get real…..it is much easier said than done!
Okay, in saying the above, I must tell you that I have proudly come a long way over the years in preparing and enjoying the holidays. This has taken many different approaches and slight adjustments in planning, but it has worked. So here they are, a few coping strats to get you through the “most happiest time of the year”!
1. Don’t over schedule yourself! Really….just don’t. You do not have to go to every event, you do not have to shop everyday or all day! We spread ourselves way to thin over the holidays. That is not fun! That is not exciting! That is stressful and therefore the event or places you are to go become chores and trust me, my friends, it shows! You can not hide your lack of excitement….wine will not disguise it either (nice try)! All joking aside, there are ways you can do this thoughtfully. Decide early on what you want November and December to look like. What are the responsibilities that you don’t have much wiggle room on (i.e.: kids events, work commitments) and which ones you do (party at the neighbours, cocktails after work, floor party at work, midnight shopping events). Weigh them out and be real. When you are honest and simply state that you are unable to attend, it is shocking how everyone understands. I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, you will be missed, but the parties will go on without you!
2. Give.……to those who need it! Instead of worrying so much about what you are buying who……decline all lists from your kids….and give gifts from the heart, give to others in need and stop there! Do not, and I repeat do NOT (my husband is for sure shaking his head at me right now) continue to purchase one more gift for someone else to keep it even. ( I might be guilty of this…..but I have changed….remember!) I do understand that it is lovely to have gifts under the tree and I also understand the excitement in watching those we love open them. So, I will be honest and tell you that I will ensure my family have some nice gifts to open. I will; however, also be sure to make it possible for another family to have lovely gifts to open. We all deserve to have a special holiday and I believe with all of me that we are all responsible to give something at this time of year! I will not tell you where or how, but just take some time to think of even one way you can make someone less fortunate have a great Christmas! It will make you feel fabulous, alleviate your stress and bring upon you instant joy and love…..which is what you are supposed to be feeling at this time of year!
3. Love your partner! LOTS…..you need your partner. This may be your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, sister, best friend. We all have someone to talk to and if you do not, then email me! I will support you! I will listen (read) to you cry, get frustrated, be confused and stressed! We all need to sound off and have downtime with our loved ones. So be sure to take the time to return to the quiet space with your partner to regroup, love and breathe!!!!
4. Exercise! This is a simple one…..walk, run, spin, pilates, yoga…..whatever you like! For me, I will ensure I hit my spin classes and pilates…..and walk with my dogs. The walk is probably the most calming but the endorphins and sweat of spin and pilates instantly alleviate my stress and make everything feel so much better. I must add here that I will also eat lots of treats and not feel overwhelming guilt afterwards! This is a very important bonus feature of exercising over the holidays.
5. MEDITATE!! Yes, yes, yes! Please, if you take any of my advice, promise me you will take advice #4 Meditate to heart (and please seriously consider #2….. and #3 is huge as well)! Meditation will bring calm to the chaos, peace in the evening when you need to wind down and keep your mind and body centered. This is essential to your well being. This is essential to your health. This will, I promise you, change your life! So, on that note, I will give you a list of a few of my favourite meditations that I think you should try.
- Chopra Centre Meditation – My favourite over the holidays is ‘Finding Grace Through Gratitude’ https://chopracentermeditation.com
- Buddhify – I have the app on my phone! It is fabulous. You can download via the Apple App store or the link below. I love the sleep meditations. They are not too long, I play them once I am snuggled in and ready to sleep. Try FADE…..it is fabulous! http://buddhify.com
- Headspace – Of course HEADSPACE! This is a fabulous app which is available via the Apple App store as well and, like Buddhify, offers a variety of amazing meditations to bring you peace of mind through whatever life is bringing you! My favourite has been the SELF ESTEEM series. Here is the link to their website! https://www.headspace.com
Christmas really is the season to be jolly! It really is the happiest time of the year. With it will always come some stress and anxiety, but slowly we can all overcome. So, this year, take small steps to make the preparations easier, the events you attend not so stressful and time with your family happier! Look after YOU! You deserve this to be a joyful time and you most definitely deserve to ring in the new year on a healthy happy note!
xoxo
I love you !!!!